Possibilities
by sebaschan
Summary: Ciel's new found life has devestating effects on Sebastian.


Sebastian found himself crumpled on the floor, slumping on his knees in front of his young master. He couldn't take it any longer… the boy he knew was gone. His body still the same, but inside it seemed there was nothing. A mere shell of the person Ciel used to be. The sweet blue eyes replaced by a harsh, dulling red, and the elegant posture thrown aside by the new, dominating stance of a young demon. Sebastian couldn't bear it… the lump stuck in the back of his throat, and his aching heart pounded against his rattled chest. The prospect of forever was a scary one.

He looked up at Ciel, obviously shaken by the recent turn of events, and simply shook his head slowly. His arms folded in Ciels lap, and his head lowered to hide in them. He gripped at the boys shorts, eyes closed tight. What was he to do now…? Everything he had hoped and planned for had been stripped and clawed away by the hands of other, filthy demons. He hoped they were all suffering. He prayed they were all miserable. It wasn't Ciels soul he was mourning for, he no longer cared for such a trivial possession. He would starve if it meant he could keep the young boy; watch him grow and flourish. But now… now there was nothing.

"Sebastian..." The boy murmured, gently moving his hand into the back of his butler's hair. The strands of black felt soft in between the slender fingers of the young master. "Why're you so upset?"

The butler shook his head again, not daring to move his head from his arms. His eyes stung, and his chest ached. He wasn't supposed to get so emotional over such a thing… but every time he saw Ciel, he remembered. He remembered the violent crack of Claude's bones against the weapon impaled in him. He remembered the glimpse of hope and joy when he saw Ciel with Hannah. And he remembered the misery that wrecked through him as she told him of Alois' wishes.

His heart stopped for a moment as Ciel began to play with his hair comfortingly, pushing him closer to tears. He reluctantly leaned into Ciels touch, still keeping his face hidden from his master. He took in a shaky breath, causing his shoulders to shake. He wondered how long it would be before he started to cry in front of the boy. He also wondered how Ciel would take it… seeing the man who had cared for him, protected him, bent over backwards for him, break down into a quivering mess in front of him. It wasn't natural for a demon to suffer from such back-breaking emotions like this. But Sebastian couldn't help it. Such a sudden end to everything he had wanted was heart breaking for him.

It was obvious to Sebastian that if Ciel knew of his hopes for the future, their future, he would have taunted the butler. Such thoughts were things that should not have been rooted in Sebastian's mind, but ridiculously, they were something he often thought about. He thought about Ciel as he grew older and became a mature young man, and how he would stride out of his father's shadow. How they would spend their nights lying in bed, simply looking at one another… How stubborn Ciel would become when Sebastian embarrassed him, and how the pink blush would lay precisely under his eyes. The chances of that were brutally torn away. It was torment.

"Are you crying, Sebastian?" Ciel questioned again, tilting his head curiously. If Sebastian had looked up at him, all he would have seen was concern and sympathy, but all he thought he would see was taunt and amusement. Such a display of weakness would have amused any other demon, would have roused teasing gestures and comments in husk, dark voices. But Ciels voice was soft, and loving. He did care for Sebastian, even if the older demon didn't realize.

Unable to answer, Sebastian braved himself and looked up at Ciel. His eyes were rimmed with red, strain from trying to hold back the onset of tears, and his cheeks dampened by the beginning of many that were beginning to trail down. As he saw shock play out on his masters expressions, he sunk his head back into his arms, and began to tremble. How stupid of himself, he thought, waiting for the massacre of insults and taunts he knew Ciel would deal to him.

Instead, he simply felt his young master bow, and gently wrap a comforting arm around his broad shoulders, and a hand softly tangle in the back of his hair. Next came Ciels fragile cheek resting against Sebastian's head, holding him close to his small body. The onslaught of tears worsened as Sebastian found himself crying against Ciels thigh. His master's arm tightened around him, and the hand slipped to stroke his hair gently.

"Please don't cry…" Ciel whispered, sounding a little shaken himself. "Sebastian, please…"

But Sebastian couldn't stop himself. He found his emotions taking over him, and rationality was no longer an option. He cried against Ciel, shoulders shaking and breath ragged. He wanted to stop; but having bottled up his feelings for the boy for so long, and taking on the role of the stiff-upper-lip butler was beginning to take its toll on him. And it was only a matter of time before he reached his limits. He had become overly-attached to the stubborn, free-willed boy. He knew it was dangerous from the start, but he couldn't stop himself. The snarky comments and teasing, the demands and the needs, the dos and the don'ts, of Ciel Phantomhive had led to this.

Like a wounded child, Sebastian cried into the lap of his master, praying the tiring emotions would leave him soon. But it seemed unlikely; it seemed that the more he tried to stop crying, the more tears he brought on. He had never expected to fall down like this for anybody.

"You're going to make me cry…" Ciel murmured, gripping at his butler's hair loosely. "I'm still me… is that why you're crying?" He pleaded, hoping the butler would stop. "It's still me, Sebastian, and I still love you…"


End file.
